Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Apparently I "made the lady's day" yesterday, and she vowed as she left the cafe to "do something nice for someone else". Clair tells me that I am very kind and nice. And that there's quite a lot of niceness going around and she thinks it might have something to do with the recession. She hopes 'it' comes back to me tenfold. "Oddness?" I think to myself, "...can the world cope if it is multiplied by 10? Or does she mean 'to the power of ten'?!".
I found this conversation quite interesting really, mostly because I really wasn't intending to be kind. Rather I've approached this as an experiment. Really. How does the human mind respond to stimuli that is out of the ordinairy? What happens if a stranger is kind? Do we return that to the person or do we hug it to ourselves? Do we pass it on "tenfold"? Or do we just take it as our right? Does it REALLY make the world a better place? Or does it drop into the huge lake of our life and disappear beneath the surface, never to appear again? I've been told that one of my "problems" is that I am too generous. This also puzzles me. Does generosity result in meanness? And in what forms?
Today I asked Clair to give the next coffee to a bloke. And to wait until I had left (for some reason, paying for a coffee made me feel guilty. Almost as if I was swinging my wallet around, randomly asking "so do you come here often?" and leering suggestively at passers by. I think it's because the random recipient is also being given my superhero card. This doesn't seem rational, so I'm just going to go with the flow until I receive evidence otherwise).
Anyways, one thing I did notice was that despite the fact that I've been all in my head about this 'experiment', it made me smile when Clair said nice things. And I certainly had a jaunty walk as I left the cafe. Being kind and nice makes me feel good apparently.
Monday, August 24, 2009
You may know about my obsesssion with superheroes. You see, I have a theory (on a good day). When I sit on the train watching all of the bored looking people, I imagine that they are in fact superheroes in disguise. They might help old ladies across the road, be kind to strangers in need or simply make someone a cuppa tea when they're feeling low. All activities worthy of a superhero.
Which led me to watching people on the street in Lambton Quay. I am not a person who is comfortable in Lambton Quay amongst the "suits". So I watch and wonder if rather than being the stuffy uptight people that I assume they are, that maybe they too are superheroes in disguise. And now it is an obsession. In fact, everywhere that I go I wonder what feats of superheroism people may be plotting or even carrying out at that very moment.
Which OF COURSE led me to get myself some business cards made. They say simply my name, "Superhero in disguise", my cellphone and my gmail address. So this morning I started my social experiment. I went to Sweet Fanny Annes, gave Claire money for a coffee, asked for this to pay for the next person who came in and only in return to give them my superhero business card. She looked at me as if I'm a mong, which apparently I'm comfortable with. I was taken aback when she immediately turned around and gave my card to a woman who was waiting inside for her coffee. I took off, as I don't want anything about "me" to moderate anything that may happen.
I don't really have a motivation for this. I have no idea what is going to happen. I'd like for something to happen. Perhaps for my faith in humanity to be bolstered? I'm planning on doing this kinda randomly, and funding maybe 100 coffees in total. Just to see what happens. So I have to sell a few more eggs (come on Manky and Chickpea!), old bags and veges I guess.
So I don't have a "moral of the story" or anything of real meaning to share with you today. Except to give you a glimpse into my (slightly odd) mind. I wonder what will happen?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
And why is it that we need such pandering and positive reinforcement that without a 5:1 ego stroke we're likely to pack the bags and leave? Because we are ancient(ish) beings, with a physiological system that is wired to either "seek pleasure/happiness" or "run like the clappers from danger" (fight or flight). And while our fight or flight system is very ancient and very few of us come across a saber-toothed tiger or warring tribesman, it is VERY well entrenched in our system, and very easily triggered to give us all the proper body things that we need. A racing heart rate, a burst of adrenaline, constriction of blood vessels (so blood is diverted to our hearts and away from potential bleeding extremity injuries). Full on. Useful a few thousand or more years ago. Not so great when having a scrap about how the towels should be pegged out.
Of course these useful physiological responses get re-directed to more noble pursuits in modern times. Such as depression (you don't want to know how many anti-depressants are prescribed), inappropriate touching (Uncle Lenny), bag packing and storming from home.
So, now that you know all of this, will you install a blackboard so that you can keep track of your good vs bad comments? Will you becalm your beating heart when observing illogical towel hanging? Or will you keep your handy hints to yourself? Me? I have the sinking feeling that a saber-toothed tiger cannot change it's 4.8:1 stripes.
Monday, August 17, 2009
- To Do List. While this isn't an inspiring or particularly interesting list, it's the one I use most often and it helps me to at least feel like I've achieved something in my day. And I like that feeling. And like 80% of the general population that uses this list, I too am a cheat and will write things on my To Do list that I have already completed, ALL for the pleasure of crossing it out again or putting a big fat tick next to it. (Eg, write blog, tick, cross out, sigh of pleasure...).
- Things that I want to do or achieve during my lifetime. I love this one. I like to dream big. Or really small (for example, invent a laptop that folds down into your pocket, BUT that unfolds out so that the keyboard is big enough that you don't get OOS, like our poor Mongy Bebe).
- Things about my life that I like or love. This is really good no matter what your mood (or in fact life in general) is like. If you're all ecstatic and annoyingly cheerful, it's a nice feelgood that affirms why you're being such a wanker. And if you're really down and feeling like a loser, while the list may seem short, it will remind you that you at least like the tap that's in your bathroom. Maybe you just need to go and have a bath? Which is usually the conclusion that I come to if I'm feeling down in the dumps - but in a soothing way, not in an "I'm just taking the toaster into the bathroom for a bit" kinda way.
- Things about my life that I dislike or hate. The funny thing about this list is that even if you're in a really good state, it doesn't take long before this list gets really out of hand. Because even if you live your life like we thought Mother Theresa lived hers, there are still OTHER PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. And quite frankly, they can be a piss off. The good thing about this though is that you can disconnect all forms of external communication and take to your lazyboy if you want to minimise this list. Except then you would probably write "no-one talks to me anymore" on your list.
Finding old lists is REALLY cool. Like the ad on tele (which I absolutely LOVE!), you can cross out things that you've done, even if you're late/wrong/now incapable.
Lists rock. And this is why my list blogs always get so many comments containing lists. You're all just as anal as I am, and despite the name-calling (which is number 54 on my 4th list) you all secretly want to be me (number 4 on my 3rd list). List off.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
That moment was an awakening for me and I recognise it now as the first step on this feminist road I travel.
My life is informed by feminism, the decisions I make, the things I do, the people I love and the projects I share my energy with.
I cannot thank enough the women in my life who have shown me that being a woman is awesome, that fighting injustice is fulfilling, that working for equity is a collective calling.
I find strength in the strength of other women, and I love that as I get older my feminism grows and changes.
I don’t mind when people laugh when I use the words patriarchy, hierarchy and oppression - I reckon, call it what it is.
I love that this is what a feminist looks like!
The charity KidsCan, was not a feel-good cause. We are deeply embarrassed that children are going to school inadequately clothed and underfed. While we would have, say, a decade ago, been happy to fork out for a cause that was doing something about that gross injustice, there is a groundswell of people uncomfortable about giving subliminal encouragement to an underclass shameless about churning out children because it is an ‘earn’.I am almost incoherent with WTF-ness! And really – WTFknF!?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Small germs of ideas occasionally flash like dying stars – and then that’s what they do.
I feel inchoate, rudimentary, as if I am still growing into something.
Perhaps it’s a time to hunker down and wait and see, and have some kind of faith that inspiration will strike eventually.
I imagine I will emerge, grown into my potential, pink and naked and shivering but with a hazy sparkle of pale intensity.
Then, I will have something to say.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
As some of you may have heard- I'm (myself and two other students) giving a presentation on cyberfeminism for gender studies. I would really like to give a mock presentation to you all so we can asess presentation etc... I'm extremely nervous but i'd appreciate your feedback, CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms and sisterly love.... :)
We will be delivering the presentation on the 18th of September so could give mock pres in the week beggining 7th-13th. I'm thinking friday or saturday would be pref?
It's really interesting stuff, i'm sure it'll be great fun- i'm not too sure about a venue at this point but i'll provide some treats and drinks
In fluidarity and cyberlove,
- I frown a lot when I'm staring at any computer - which makes me think that maybe I frown a lot because my face doesn't feel any different than it usually does. This is a photo of me trying not to frown at my laptop. Note strained look and telltale vertical lines on my brow.
- I think Spring is coming. The bulbs are up, there's a lightness about the air and I don't feel compelled to light the fire as soon as I get out of bed (which in this case was 6.15am this morning, in order to take Ms Vanoodle to meet her Mummy for carpooling activities).
- Bread smells really yummy when it is rising, but I bet it doesn't taste good right now.
- Betty Growler is feeling needy-graspy. I can tell this because I have a whole bunch of new little holes in my thighs from her accidentally putting her claws out while "stretching" nonchalantly against me.
- I have so many thoughts and ideas racing through my brain at the moment that it's amazing I can get anything completed. Why do I have to try new stuff all of the time? I'm sure it's not normal.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Today’s morning routine was a little different than the usual. Mummy was on a First Aid course so Mama had to drop you off at WCCCA. We pulled up in the car and you excitedly pointed toward the centre making “look” noises. We went inside. Everything was still packed away and Rebecca was filling the paint pots. We went into the bathroom to put your bag in your locker and Rebecca came to check we were ok and I knew where everything went. While we were doing that Bridget and Blair had arrived. When you saw Blair you rushed over to him making those same “look” noises you had made earlier while pointing at me as if to tell him “Look Blair, Mama’s here this morning!” – You knew that this morning was different and you wanted to share that with him. When it was time for me to go, you gave me a kihi and said “bye bye” while waving, like you do all the time, but this time you seemed so grown up! I am constantly underestimating how much you are aware of and know. I forget that you are now 16 months old and are learning all the time. I really enjoyed seeing this part of you this morning – Thanks for reminding me why I think you are so amazing!
I didn't. I returned to find it didn't smell damp, was indeed very cute, well located and suits me perfectly. So why am I pissy? Well coz some bastards gone and messed with that fagile equilibrium by trying to break in. grrrrrr .
Upstairs got broken into again yesterday, and I thought I'd escaped, and I have but Clare noticed this morning that the louvres had been removed from my bedroom. So now I know someone wants to break in. Grrrrrr.
Which reminds me of how I approach a lot of stuff. My life is full of the artefacts of hiss and fart-ism. My golf clubs languish in the garage, a shed full of tools with no workable space in which to stave of H&F... A cupboard full of the remnants of once passionate pursuits...
But never fear, those activities to which we are fully bonded will always come back. Golf has suffered a definite lack of attention for me, but I've gone successfully through that cycle a half dozen times over the past decade. We will be reunited. The sewing machine is never far from my mind, and once the behemoth Kingi has gone, the garage will be transformed into workshop extraordinaire. I may have to install Winter heating. All welcome to come and play - because play is the best way to avoid the dreaded Hiss and Fart Virus.